The Marquis will see you now. *Ahem.* Ah! Welcome back adventurers. Business before pleasure, unfortunately. Leave us. I would like to reward you for your valiant efforts… in dealing with this… unsavory matter. I’d like to but I’m afraid I cannot. For you see… I have since been informed of certain results that are shall we say… Less than satisfactory. You burned down half the city including several of our distribution facilities and safe houses. It’s not my fault! They were so close together. And flammable. You led a chase through the streets alerting the City Guard in the process. We’d already burnt down half the city looking for him. We weren’t going to let him escape again. When you apprehended him you killed him before he could talk. To be fair he talk… But it was mostly unintelligible screaming while I beat him to death with my fists. I’m afraid I have no choice. There must
be no witnesses. Clap clap. Oh, looks like we’re done for! Muahahahaha. I have a plan. They took all our weapons when we entered. Not all our weapons. I have a Plan B! – What if I go up to the guy and cast f–
– Fireball. You cast Fireball. In this small room. With all your
friends around you? I could cast Burning Hands instead? How about Plan… D? What happened to Plan C? I’m going to seduce him! He’s trying to kill you. You can’t just seduce him. Maybe I can convince him to stop the attack? You know because I’m so…
~・* B R E A T H T A K I N G *・~ Ah, you can roll a Persuasion Check. It’s gonna be at disadvantage
though – he is hostile towards you. – What if we help out?
– Yeah, so he can roll a straight one? And how exactly are you gonna help? Well… Hey. Why don’t we stop all this needless violence? Let’s make love, not war. Roll for it. – Natural 20.
– What? Natural 20! *Cheering.* Okay. You have his attention. I’ve noticed… what beautiful horns you have. May I take a closer look? You may proceed. As I suspected… So pointy and hard. It’s easy to see how you can get quite h– Please don’t say “horny.” As the great bard Nelly once said: It’s getting hot in here… So take off all your clothes. Roll for it. *Cheering intensifies.* I am familiar with his legend. Having so many people under you… It must get quite lonely being on top. Allow me to ease some of that loneliness. – Roll to seduce.
– Rolling to seduce! It’s a Natural 20! Pat: Seriously? Again? Okay, he’s waiting. How do you want to d– We make love. On the floor. With everybody watching. Meow. You do that. – Oh Antrius!
– Oh Marquis! – Oh Antrius!
– Oh Marquis! – Oh Antrius!
– Antrius! – Oh-ho Antrius!
– Antrius! – I’m going to Eldritch Blast!
– *Throws up.* Wait. Are you resistant to disease? Oh Antrius. Please like and subscribe. Or if you have o– Nah, ****. From the top. Sorry! I’m sorry, I’m really bad at this. Antrius: You should see him when he’s actually having sex. He’s like “Nope, stop. Start again.” *Vicious Mockery intensifies.* Nixie: “Cut!” “Action!” Keep rolling. Thank you for watching adventurers I would like to reward you for all your
liking and subscribing but unfortunately I have better things to do. Joining our Patreon may lead you to richer rewards. Hit that bell. I’ll be hitting something else. *Kendall finally had a good joke.*